06.07.2024
Hey Everybody,
This morning as I was finishing up a message that I will be teaching in a few weeks, I was interrupted by a staff member who let me know that someone had popped in to see me. Normally, I don’t take meetings that aren’t scheduled, but when they told me who it was, I stopped what I was working on to meet with this person. It was someone who used to be a member of Believers…for a very long time. It was a family that I had walked through so many things with…marriages, sicknesses, and funerals. When they left Believers, they left without talking to me. This was several years ago. Today, the person stopped by to say that they were sorry for leaving without talking to me. He said that he hadn’t handled it well.
I accepted his apology. Not only did I accept it, I appreciated it.
As I often say, church isn’t a place we go…it is who we ARE. Church IS relational. If someone leaves a church, even for good reasons, they are leaving a relationship. And relationships shouldn’t be treated as disposable or transactional. When a person leaves a church without a conversation, it sends a message that the relationship wasn’t important to them. With this family, it felt like all of the moments we had shared were just transactional – part of my pastoral duties. But for me, those experiences were deeply relational. I cried at the funerals, cheered at the weddings, and prayed for them during their tough times.
His coming back to me to apologize was appreciated because it reassured me that this family valued our relationship as much as I did. I would have loved for him to have told me that they were coming back to Believers. They aren’t. But he did express his love for the people here, and his gratitude for the things this community had done for him and his family through the years. While his apology was a few years late…I was grateful for the opportunity to have a conversation with him. I know it took a lot for him to come to me and express his regrets and I don’t take that lightly. And while it doesn’t change our circumstances, it does change some things. Before today, when I thought of this family I would feel some hurt. Now when I think about this family, I will still be sad that they aren’t at Believers, but I will also feel grateful for them and the many experiences we’ve shared. I feel resolution.
This got me to thinking about other relationships in my life. Are there people I’ve hurt or relationships that I’ve walked away from in hurtful or unhealthy ways? If so, as today’s experience taught me, it’s never too late to say that I’m sorry. I want ALL of my relationships to be whole and restored without the pain of lingering and unresolved conflicts.
How about you?
I say this all the time. The way you love the person you love the least is they way you love God the most. Jesus tied our faith in him to our treatment of others. He said there is ONE command that is most important…loving God with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and loving others as Jesus loved us. That sounds like TWO commands, but it’s actually one. They way you love God IS the way you love others.
So, let me ask you again. How about you? What relationships do you have where amends need to be made. Resolution needs to be offered. Apologies need to be given.
Jesus once said, “If you are presenting a gift at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your gift there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.” Matthew 5:23-24
Jesus seems to be saying that reconciling relationships with others is as important as showing up for worship. Of course it is. Because we don’t GO to Church, we ARE the Church. Church IS relationships. And our relationships with others are as important as our relationship with God. In fact, they are intertwined.
Know this…I’m praying for you. I hope you will join me this week for the continuation of our “Family Issues” series. This week we will be talking about how to deal with aging parents. I will give you a heads up…there is a lot of discussion around forgiveness in this message and that is something that ALL of us could use some help with. Right? Invite someone to come sit with you this week and I will see you then.
Blessings,
Pastor Jamey