Lately, I've been thinking about the power of a simple invitation. Invitations can be wonderful when they’re to a birthday party or a wedding—we know there will be friends, laughter, and joy. But, if we’re honest, many invitations don’t feel that way. Too often, they feel less like an invitation to something and more like someone trying to get something from us.
I think that’s why many of us hesitate to invite someone to church. We know how it feels to be pressured or “prospected,” and we don’t want to make anyone else feel that way. But, at the same time, not inviting doesn’t feel right either. After all, someone once invited us. And because of Jesus, our lives are better—far better. We don’t want anything from the people we invite; we want something for them.
So how do we invite in a way that feels authentic and real?
I recently heard two stories of invitations to church I think are worth learning from. One involved a member of a local church stranded on the side of the road with a flat tire. Someone stopped to help but, before they parted ways, the church member offered a simple invitation to the one that helped them. The invitation was successful and that person came. The other story came from a small group that helped a person shaken up in a bicycle accident. They checked on them, walked with them back to their car, and invited them to church. That person came. Later, even though they weren’t sure church was “for them,” they asked if they could join the group’s next activity. How great is that?
What do these stories teach us? That some moments are more ripe for invitation than others. Andy Stanley calls them the “3 NOTs”—clues someone may be open to an invitation:
- 1. NOT in church. When someone is disconnected, they may be longing for community. This was the case for the guy on the bicycle.
- 2. NOT going well. When life is hard—divorce, job loss, grief, even a flat tire—people need encouragement.
- 3. NOT prepared. Facing new or overwhelming challenges, people often welcome support.
When you hear one of these “NOTs,” it might be the perfect time to say, “Why don’t you come sit with me at church?”
Even more, I’d love for you to think about who you could bring with you to your church. Who in your life might be waiting for a simple, sincere invitation?
Look for the 3 NOTs, listen well, and offer an open invitation that could change someone’s life.
